Hi Mouse,

I hope my comments don't not cause further angst. I've been trying to get through this post for days! As I read through the thread something popped out at me.

Your anger, disappointment, dread, fear, due to what your co-worker said and how T categorized it are similiar and a description of a negative reaction to a negative situation. However, I saw another way to look at this.

Could the "internal reaction" be related to what was NOT said? In other words, your co-worker said something that triggered an emotional state that resides within you. Could your "external" anger be related to your missing the internal reaction that would have been triggered if this friend had said the nice things you expect of her?

In the same vein, could you be angry because T didn't say something soothing and create the safe, internal state that you experience when she does?

Could you be experiencing anger at the loss of comfort?

I hope this makes sense and not more bother. It's another way of looking at what Echoes said. A duplication of missing something instead of a duplication of intrusion.

Peace