I agree with this. There is no excuse to stalk your T or cross their boundaries.

However, I don't think googling your T is invading a T's life. Like my fiance always tells me: information on the internet is public knowledge.

On the other hand, searching your T's family and friends, and stalking behavior ARE invading your T's life.

I've googled my T, ex-T, Pdoc, Primary, etc. When I initially did it, I wanted to learn more about them. Not EVERYTHING; just wanted to see a glimpse of who they were in real life. Now that my relationships with them are stable, I don't research them anymore. I do, however, still look at their fb profile pictures. I can't picture people's faces in my mind, so I have to look at pictures to remember and connect while outside of session.

I admitted to my T that I researched her. She was surprised, but not shocked. She said she's had other clients do it too. I told her about not remembering people's faces, and she understood. I admitted to looking at her picture more often when my attachment gets intense, or my fears. We made a deal that come termination, she would give me a letter and a transitional object if I promised not to look her up anymore after termination. She told me to save a few pictures of her (without her family or friends in them), and look at those when I need to.

OP: I don't understand why you obsess so much over your T. Are you addressing this in therapy? I know we don't share everything about our therapy here, but it also struck me that when your husband was dying/died, you were more focused on your T. Have you started to grieved yet? Or could you be avoiding grieving by focusing on your T? It's just the level of obsession is unhealthy. And like others pointed out, you seem to not even care about T's feelings. How can you say you care about someone and yet break their boundaries on purpose? To satify your own wants and desires? It's mean!