It's ok ES.

Our front one used to feel very similarly when she first found out about the DID. She felt like a fraud. She actually still feels that way most of the time. It's true - she still feels that we are all made up! In fact, it was only two weeks ago that she made a video in which she admitted that she 'didn't have another story.' What she meant by that was that although she doesn't believe it (us) she acknowledges that she knows what our 'stories' are, and she acknowledges that she doesn't have a different one that takes its place. (Like, if what we say happened didn't happen she doesn't have a different version of our life to take its place. There isn't a memory of a different life. She's got nuthin'".)
It was really hard for her to admit that.
Anyway... we recognize her feelings in what you have written here. Just wanted to say that.