This is just a rant. But I wouldn't mind supportive comments or ideas about what has worked for others.

My family is so toxic. I don't need to go into much detail, but they are just hugely invalidating, unsupportive, and inconsiderate (among other things like emotional and physical abuse). I already have a next-to-nothing relationship with my father. We haven't really spoken in almost a year. And then it was a five minute phone call. He has been communicating via text the last few days because my uncle is in the hospital.

I have pretty much no relationship with my older brothers. I was close to the eldest at one time, until the level of his toxicity and his wife's toxicity became so apparent I had to distance myself. My other brother used to abuse me terribly growing up, so I have no relationship with him. But it's difficult because my parents have turned a blind eye to that abuse and try to make me feel guilty about having no relationship with him. That's a long story there too.

I went no contact with my mom for a long time. We reconnected in 2015. Since then I had had some hope for our relationship, but after this past Christmas, I am certain that I have to go back to a very chill relationship with her, because I can't count on her for any kind of emotional support. Her husband is fine, but he has raised these low-life (for lack of a better word) sons that I don't want to associate with. Sorry if that makes me snobby or whatever but I can't be emotionally invested in people who have poor boundaries, who commit crimes, who use others, etc. I won't have people like that in my life, even if they are my mother's husband's sons.

I let myself expect that I could have some semblance of family. I knew better to let myself expect anything. I let my guard down and let false hope get in.

I have friends, I have my dogs. It's just hard not having family. And people don't understand what it's like not having family because your family is abusive and toxic.

Sigh.