Your family is toxic. I would go very low or no contact with them. I have had to do the same with my family. They also refuse to acknowledge the past and what happened, although my situation is a bit different. I am the youngest and my parents got worse as time went on, and my brothers weren't there for what I went through. And then one of my brothers was my abusers and my parent refuse to remember it, even though the fact that he was a drug addict and threatened to kill me almost every day and hit me, etc., is a fact. It's not in my imagination. Those things happened. But everyone turns a blind eye to them. So I have close to no contact with my family. I'm an adult. I have friends. I have my own career, I have my dogs. I have my hobbies, I stay happy and fulfilled. It's sad that I can't have much of a relationship with my family, but it's how it is.

I think you'll be happier if you build relationships elsewhere. Rely on your boyfriend. Try some support groups in person, like NAMI. Or try Adult Children of Alcoholics. Make friends with people who get it. That's what I've done.

Good luck,
seesaw