It isn't about shaming. It is about Rainbow finding the personal power to choose the direction of her behaviors. Often, Rainbow, you say things like I just can't help myself, or things of the like, but one of the most empowering things a person can learn is that we do have the power to make choices and just need to stop and listen to ourselves. I think DBT may refer to that as the wise mind vs. the emotional mind. Which mind is running the show here? And do you have the power to choose which one to act on?