I have a different take on this. I don't call my brothers or father on holidays or birthdays because I have chosen not to have contact with them because they are so abusive and toxic. To the people in their lives, I must look like a jerk or something, because they weren't privy to what I experienced from these people in my life.

You don't know what kind of father he was to them. There may be a lot of water under the bridge that you aren't aware of. Obviously you have some regard for him because he's your BF, but people who may be good BFs or husbands aren't necessarily good fathers. My stepmother thinks my father is all that and a bag of chips, but she wasn't abused by him growing up and she didn't have to live in the violent household he created, as a child.

My point is, they have their own reasons for not contacting him when you think they should. It's okay to feel bad for him, but try not to judge the kids when you don't know what they've been through.

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