I had been in recovery from Bulimia for years, but today, I relapsed. I think it's been a build up of things. For a while, I actually maintained low weight naturally, which is how I recovered. I did not think I'd ever have a problem with an Eating Disorder ever again, but I guess I was wrong.

It all started when someone recently looked at me and said, "You've gained weight." Although I'm not a heavy person, I took this to heart. I guess it triggered me. I look at myself in the mirror, and I study my imperfections as far as my weight.

I feel I had let myself go and feel guilty. The temptation of all the food around my house is also a trigger. On top of relapsing, I now find my thoughts going to that place of wanting to regularly lose weight in ways that I know are unhealthy. The temptation is too strong. I find myself researching pills online I can take, and the extreme thinking is back. Guilt is a hard emotion to get past too. Maybe I'll start to check-in on this thread here and there.