I am very sory for your situation.

Definately ask him to see a counselor with you. You need help to mediate, to be a witness to his selfishness. Talk to your friends and family (his too) about what he's doing that is unhealthy/scary/illogical. Talk it up. If you allow yourself to be isolated in this situation, he will use it to his advantage. To a N., you are meerly an object that he 'bought'. To use or discard at his good leisure. No way for a person to be treated and not a good atmosphere to raise healthy happy children in. His manipulation can be so suttle - but no less destructive.

I learned a great deal at this link:

Narcissistic Personality Disorder - FAQ's

Please be careful, in my situation violence was threatened. It can escalate to this.

VoNPD