Is it really that important, or are you able to let it go? If you find you are getting past it, allow yourself to move on. Not everything about your T has to be analyzed, and perhaps this episode was more about your history than it really is about your therapist anyway. Keep the focus on you and what you need to do, learn, discuss to move forward in your life. Like you said, this seems to go around in circles for you; you do very similar things over and over again, probably because it really isn't about your T, but you tend to get repeatedly sidetracked with these T distractions. Maybe it feels "safer" to focus on your therapist issues than your real life personal issues and history. Avoidance maybe? Just a thought. Might be why she won't discuss it; you use it to avoid what is even harder.