Quote:
Originally Posted by monalisasmile
I guess my t has to know I like her. She tells me she likes me but I have never said I liked her. I never said I hated her either, I proclaim indifference and I do that when someone matters. It hurts so much because I want to tell them how much they mean but the words won't come out. I always end up pushing ts away or accusing them of something until they terminate. I have ghosted a few and not given them a chance to explain. I can feel the same situation happening again with my t. I didn't cancel my next session but I am strongly feeling that I should just not show up and ignore her calls. I have never not shown up for therapy with her but I have done this with my other ts. I would appreciate any feedback. I realise I can be quite defensive around my t and I am in the process of dropping that. I want to tell her I am so mad at her, I want to tell her not to be so mean to me.
I am interested in hearing any advice on how others dealt with these strong feelings?
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I've generally used e-mail or occasionally voice mails or texts to let my T or marriage counselor know about strong feelings, whether positive or negative. I find it's easier for me to organize my thoughts in written form and explain why I'm upset (or feeling whatever I'm feeling) than to try to do it in person. Sometimes we've them ended up discussing the feelings in person and/or on the phone after I reached out and shared them. But it's helped for me to have the feelings already out there. If I waited to share them in session, then I might back down or have trouble getting them all out or not make as much sense as I would in writing.
I can't remember how your T is about e-mail, but if she's not good with it, another option is to type/write it out, then ask her to read it at the start of next session. That way, you have your thoughts organized. Hope that helps. Good luck
