I guess my therapy has really never gotten tangled up into knots about feelings about my therapists. I got along well with my therapists and we dealt with our diagreements in the moment and moved on. It would not have worked for me to try to deal with my issues in therapy if my therapy and issues were further complicated by therapy/therapist drama and contention. I had enough problems; I would not have wanted my therapy to add to them.

That may be why I dropped several therapists along the way fairly quickly. I saw red flags that I knew I wouldn't be okay with and moved on.

You've had more than a few serious red flags yet you keep going back for more. Why go to a therapist who you just described as being mean to you? From what you have previously described, that isn't just perception; she has an approach that is pretty harsh and not very suited to your emotional well-being.