Quote:
Originally Posted by Skies
How it works in my therapy, which is psychodynamic therapy, is that exploring the therapist relationship issues gets to the deeper issues within the self. It's the opposite of avoidance.
For example, being hurt or feeling alienated from my therapist's not meeting my needs allows me to process those feelings and understand them by linking them to past relationships/history. The therapist's not meeting those needs is what provides the opportunity to explore. In the process, the focus is removed from the therapist and placed on the self.
Here, Rainbow's therapist did not meet her need of sharing her personal life, providing rich opportunity to explore her feelings so that she can understand them which results in them having less power over her. Ideally, resolving the conflict that leads to the obsessiveness.
Though I don't want to assume that's how others psychodynamic therapy works, it's the basic tenant of that modality. I wondered if her therapist has the ability to facilitate a discussion of the deeper feelings rather than arguing about the trigger/action itself (not showing the picture). Anyway, that's what I assumed was what her therapist did not want to discuss-reasons why she didn't show the picture because it blocks looking at the feelings behind it.
Exploring the darkest corner of our minds!! The therapist relationship is just the vehicle to get there. In the process, the focus is removed from the therapist and placed on the self. Makes me wonder how other therapists work. And if Rainbow you have to make that work rather than your therapist. But I should probably quit posting on this thread as I have to many thoughts about this and there is no point in going on and on. Just really struck me as a long-standing unaddressed pattern. And I know what it's like to be stuck.  |
Skies, I'm going out of order in answering because I want you to know my T usually does therapy the you describe. She uses the therapeutic relationship a lot, to then switch it back to me. I think she was frustrated because we HAVE discussed my need to know, and how I didn't like when I watched family movies when I was little because I wasn't in them. Before I was born. That made me cry. I also don't like when people don't tell me things. I don't remember that happening when I was a child, but as an adult my family doesn't tell me things that they think will worry me. To me, that's shutting me out. In college, senior year, my roommates hid that they were going places and I knew that. Also, kids passing notes in school but not to me. So that was when I was a child after all.
But wanting to know about people without asking started in 1st grade. I always researched people because I was too shy to ask them. I don't like secrets because it makes me feel left out. T and I have talked about this and maybe even did EMDR once. It's about rejection too. I suppose I will tell T that I want to explore this more. It seems too complicated though. Issue isn't clear. If it were deal seated, wouldn't it be about my parents leaving me out? It was more about peers, those I wanted to be friends with.