It's difficult when family members are sick, abusive and fail to offer the basic support that families are suppose to offer, especially during the holidays!

It doesn't make you "snobby" to expect more or better in your life. I'm glad to hear that you have friends and pets as you deserve to be loved and cared about. In terms of supportive comments, I would say to prioritize your own mental and emotional health; protect yourself.

Perhaps chip away at family problems with whatever energy truly is available for that, and no more. Timing your interactions with family so that they are followed by a visit from a supportive friend or therapist might help. It's great to see that you at least realize there's a problem, have articulated the nature of it, and are reaching out for help. Best of luck!