Male. I relate better to males outside of therapy and feel more comfortable with them. I have tried a few female therapists since I've been with my current one, and they leave me wanting to 'flee'; feeling unsettled at the least.

I never had an attachment to my mother that I can remember. There was no relationship with my father. Just a void.

However, in exploring this more deeply, and in session with my therapist recently, I think the female issues originate from the fact that my mother was weak, and that is what it comes down to. My father treated her like **** for years, she let him abuse us, she didn't stand up for herself or her children yet blamed us coming into the world for all her problems when she wasn't blaming my father. She treated my father like **** too. Weak is the only answer that resonates with me.

Yet-I know she did the best she could and I feel guilty for hating her. Living with destructive guilt is like being harmed a second time, in a way.

I've had female therapists in the past with no issues, but since being in more intense dynamic therapy now I have no defense mechanisms and couldn't tolerate it.