Rainbow, one thing I have always found very curious about your posts is how you always use passive terms in relation to yourself. I have observed over the years that you use language that indicates you are a passive agent that has things done to you, in any interaction. I guess I have always noticed it because I am the opposite - I tend to be over-responsible for my own feelings and behaviors (meaning that I take responsibility even when it really should belong to someone else).

Take the title of this thread for instance - "My curiosity and urges are making me waste my time." And again in your response above - "No, I want to be helped and solve my problems."
I have noticed it many, many times before - for instance when you get triggered in therapy you tend not to say "I was triggered" but "my T triggered me."

The reason I am writing this is because of your statement above "I want to be helped and solve my problems." It seems so... passive. Like you are waiting around for others to do the helping... for others to come up with the solutions that will make you 'better'.

Rainbow, the cold hard truth of it is - at the end of the day, the only person who can help you, is you. Others can only walk beside you while you work.