Hi kmarie, my husband is a narcissist. I did not know anything about this personality disorder until recently. Maybe it would have helped me if I had understood his problem earlier and better. I just kept treating him like a "normal" person, expecting "normal" responses, and being in denial when he didn't give them. I just couldn't believe someone could actually be that self-absorbed and narcissistic. He felt entitled to a lot in life and did not see that I should get anything. He didn't let me have the career I wanted because his came first, and he felt entitled to having affairs outside the marriage. Never felt any guilt about it at all, just that it was his due. Had no concern that his partner in life did not get any of the things in life he did. Now we are getting divorced. Finally! I wish I had been wiser years and years ago and not kept trying to make the marriage work with someone who was just not capable of having a loving partnership.

I think what would have helped me years ago was to go to a therapist for help in the relationship. I think that would have helped me set boundaries in the relationship and not be so enabling of his behavior (I just let him walk all over me). I'm not sure this would have saved the marriage, but it would have helped me decide sooner to leave. I also think couples therapy with a really good therapist might have been helpful. I did suggest marriage counseling to my husband about 10 years ago, but he wouldn't go. He was content with the marriage the way it was.

Good luck, kmarie.