I wish I could, I really really do. I've been told several times by others on this site and other sites that I need to do what makes me happy, but I just can't get over CONSTANTLY wondering if he's at work, if he's going to stay at work all day or make up some excuse to come home, if he's getting fired, how long it's going to be before he has another episode of not going to work for days at a time. Then if it's not that, it's thinking about just how much in debt he is or how many unfinished projects that need to be done by him or how much crap is sitting around our house that irritates me or knowing that he's going to spend every moment of his free time playing this damn video game and staying up until 4AM and then not going to work the next day but promising me he will, or all these other jobs he says he's going to apply for, but doesn't.

As far as going out with other people, I don't do that either because he seems to get irritated if I make plans without him, even though all he's going to be doing is sitting at home playing his video game not even knowing if I'm there or not. Then I get his sarcasm and I feel bad about myself and just want to curl up into a ball and not do anything so I just stay home and do nothing so as not to upset him or upset my life.