One of the things that PsychCentral has helped me with is learning to recognize and respond when someone "accuses" or judges another in such a way that an accusation is implied.

For most of my life, my recognition and response system to that was numbed out. Wasn't a part of "me" (although of course it was, it's complicated if you haven't had that).

So, I've responded sometimes on PC, got accusations or defense reactions back at me, and learned a good deal in a relatively safe place. Couldn't do that in family of origin, no other "safe place" out in the real world, even in a group therapy I tried.

Thanks, PC!!

But I noticed something again today, the OP seemed to be handling it OK, so I didn't "jump in" to defend her. The semi-judgment or attitude could be a possibly interesting topic for another thread, but I'm not sure that there would be that much interest and so I don't want to put my stuff "out there" for my personal sake at this point.

Clearly, I was calling out people's veiled accusations and judgments for my own reasons. I think, luckily, it's contributed to the community in the forums where I've done it, too.

So, maybe it's just that now I can choose more judicially when and where I do it based on my own needs and my perception of potential community benefit, and not a co-dependent need to "rescue" somebody else?

Does that make sense? Any thoughts or suggestions?