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I'm no longer used to really severe depression, but I had two extreme surges of it today which really frightened me.
The problem with things having improved so much for so long is that you lose strength. So things can only get worse unless it's only getting better. And as it's not, that's frightening.
It's best never to gain something you can lose if it's dangerous when you do.
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide.
See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me.
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