Quote:
Originally Posted by Pinocchio46
I’m a 23 year old male; I’ve never really been very outgoing or good at making friends. I have struggled with anxiety for most of my life, to the point where I can’t really smile or laugh around people. I can’t eat in front of people, and I struggle with leaving the house a lot of times.
At the same time I’m a good person, I know it sounds egotistical to say, but I think I’m very kind and if someone needs me I’ll always be there. At college I always ask people how they are, I’m relatively comfortable around them, but not close. I have a dry sense of humour and always try to make people laugh.
Recently because of a really bad patch I was going through I had to turn my phone off. Some I talked to about how I was feeling in detail before hand, others I didn’t. But when I turned my phone on six weeks later, I saw no one had asked me how I was doing, no one. It wasn’t even a case of telling people I’d turned off my phone because I did it suddenly. Again today at Christmas no one sent me a message, no one called.
I’d suspected for a while that some of these people weren’t really there for me, but after six weeks to have nothing, it was heartbreaking. I don’t feel sorry for myself, but when I think of that it makes me really sad.
It’s the thought that I really could be dead, and people wouldn’t even know. What does this say about me, that at 23 I have no one who really cares about me. Christmas is meant to be a time to be around the people you love, and I’m alone. I don’t know how this will change.
Should I just give up on people altogether and concentrate on trying to follow my goals? How can I keep letting people into my life when it leaves me feeling like this? I felt better when my phone was off, I really thought when I turned it on I would see a message from some of these people, and I would know they cared.
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You've stated you turned on your phone after several weeks but have not alluded to the idea whether you've contacted anyone to let them know that you are back. I can't say either direction whether people have "left you" without that information. And it's a defining point. If you just turn on your phone and expect people to suddenly realize you're back and come running, many many people wouldn't do that unless you were really close, in contact with them like daily type of close. That is not a sign that they don't care. So that's why I ask. Second, they may not even know you're back. Not everyone is watching their statuses of their friends online. Especially if you literally mean just your phone was turned on. There is no alert for people to know your phone was turned on. Skype, steam (gaming platform) or other messaging system will show whether people are online or not but a phone by itself being turned on has no such alerts. Text messaging has no such thing afaik.
It's a whole different story if you've tried to contact others and they are now ignoring you - but I would assume you would state that in this post and say that you were now being ignored. which is why I'm assuming this is not the case. Correct me if I'm wrong.
Another thing is, many people are busy with the holidays currently and so may not be looking at their phones as much.
To assume they have "left you" is a big leap if you haven't made any attempts to make contact. After all, you're the one that went off the grid, not them, so it's really your responsibility to let people know and not theirs. Most people I know, if they notice someone stops answering texts or messages without an explanation for an extended period will assume that they won't get responses anymore and will give up.
Reach out to them.