I am experiencing something similar. T did something that I labeled in my journal as her not being the "good enough" parent and I have pretty much an instantaneous lack of depth in the connection I've had to her since. I still love her very much as an adult child would his mother. It is a different feeling of love. For me though, I am missing the feeling my child self had towards her and I want to get it back; rather than wondering what I ever saw in her.