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Originally Posted by feileacan
I'm just wondering why do you think that your current feelings aren't transference? Transference feelings don't include only loving or attachment feelings. They could be anything. Although I think that in current situation there is probably a real and valid reason for being annoyed and a sincere apology from the T would certainly be in order, there are also possibly other feelings that are evoked from somewhere from the past, e.g. transference.
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This is a really good point. With my T, for example, I've had both negative and positive maternal transference. So something like this could trigger the negative side.
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The second thing is why don't you plan to tell her anything about it? I mean, you have OCD around those things, your T, who probably knows it, manages to mess up in such a way and doesn't even apologize - well now there is so much therapeutic material to work with that I don't understand why you want to waste it.
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Also a really good point. You should talk to her about it. When I've felt hurt by or angry at T or MC, talking about it has been very helpful. It's tempting to just push it aside or else run away from the relationship entirely. But by talking about it and processing it, I can learn from it, and maybe even improve/strengthen my relationship with T or MC. MC has said before that relationships become stronger when they're tested and you work through it (he was referring specifically to our marriage, but I'm sure that would apply to relationships with a T, too). I'd definitely bring up the fact that it upset you.