I'm not sure anyone, including a therapist, has the right to set a boundary when they're only indirectly affected.

I mean, if you were staking out her house trying to catch a glimpse of him, that would be different (to me anyway). But she can't control whether or not you search the internet in private, on your own time, to find out what he looks like.

This is making me think of something else my MC said about the googling. I clearly felt guilty about it and worried that MC/T would be mad, reject me, etc. (yet I somehow couldn't *not* tell them). I told MC I did it in part to feel closer to him, because I'd been feeling disconnected that night and didn't want to bother him with a text/e-mail. So he asked if it did make me feel more connected, and I said not really. He asked if, in the past, I'd done something to feel more connected to someone, then ended up feeling bad about myself and/or less connected. And of course the answer was yes (he knows me entirely too well...). So it made me think about more constructive ways to connect to people, whether him, T, H. friends, etc. Like, say, just contacting them.

Rainbow, do you think any of this could be connected to your trying to not e-mail your T that much? Like maybe you're using this to try to feel more of a connection?