I think i have depression because i feel flat emotionally and don't have any interest in life.Things that give most people pleasure like socializing or hobbies do not interest me.All i do everyday is watch TV,play video games and go online and read stuff and even that is kind of boring to me but i do it anyway because them three things are the only things that i'm a little bit interested in.

I never feel happy or sad or excited and i never feel empathy or sympathy.i just feel dead inside.I was not like this years ago, i had a personality then,i laughed,i smiled,i joked around,i got sad,i got angry and i had an interest in life and socializing with other people,i was always introverted but i had some interest in socializing,now i have none at all,now i don't want to be around people and i don't want to talk to people,when they talk to me i have no interest in what they are saying and i just want them to shut up and leave me alone.

Sometimes i wish i was dead because i'm sick of living like this.I have been living like this everyday for the last 8 years and i want it to end.But i wont kill myself because of my family and because i have a tiny bit of hope that someday i will be happy and i will live a normal life with a job,a girlfriend,a few kids and i will go out and enjoy my life traveling to other countries and stuff.but that probably wont happen,i have been like this for 8 years and i don't think its just gonna go away someday.

The best years of my life have been wasted.While everyone else in their twenties were out enjoying themselves,going to parties,going on holidays with their friends to other countries,getting into relationships and having one night stands i was stuck at home watching TV..I'm afraid that i'm going to grow old without having lived my life,i'm 28 now,those 8 years flew really fast,this scares me a lot.

I wish there was some pill i could take that would cure my anhedonia and give me my emotions back.I have tried SSRI's and SNRI's and either they did not work or they made me even more zombie like.Unfortunately
you cant get stimulants prescribed for depression in my country only SSRI's and SNRI's.Can SSRIi's or SNRI's help with anhedonia and emotional numbness ? Maybe there is one that would work for me i dont know.I only tried about 4 different kinds.Did they help anyone here with emotional numbness or anhedonia ?