Great insights fairy.

Thanks for kind words. I have my own share of putting up with stuff and making some very questionable choices. So most certainly no judgement here. I do have a good therapist who helped me a lot to break the pattern.

My previous relationship was almost 9 years living with functioning alcoholic in hopes he'd quit. Of course he didn't quit. I knew he was an alcoholic after 3 months of dating. Didn't need almost a decade of my life wasted on trying to change someone. We can't change no one. But we can change patterns of sticking around in bad situation.

I hope your therapist could help to investigate further.