Quote:
Originally Posted by Só leigheas
In regards to your mom, mine gets sad, too. It's honestly just something moms do when they can't take away their kids' pain like they used to. It's hard for me to talk about, so I won't go heavily into it, but I have these two nephews. In my eyes, they're my kids and I love them as if they're my boys. And they are. Well, I went through a situation when I couldn't take their pain from them. I didn't fully understand their pain and that's the first step to being able to help someone; I couldn't even do the first step. I would never want them to hold secrets from me simply because they don't want me sad. Sure, I might get sad, but if just listening so they get things off their chest, is all I can do then I want to do it. After all, they're my boys and I'll always be here. Even if they're not anymore; but I won't go into that right now. Like I said, it's a painful subject.
In regards to my own depression towards loved ones, I know exactly what you're talking about. I don't like the idea of making my mom sad, but I know she's going to do it anyway if I'm not open with her. Do I tell her everything? No, but I tell her enough to ease her mind in regards to just being able to listen. When my fiance's so worried about me that he calls throughout his work shift and he's sad because I am, that hurts a lot. I'm suppose to be his rock and make him happy, so when I can't it tears me up (though he's told me many times I still am, but I need to learn to let him be that rock, too).
Is there any specific reason you haven't told your mom about your transition?
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Thanks so much for responding. It's proving to be a very difficult night for me...Hearing my mom say that really shook me to my core. I don't know what to do, or if there's anything I CAN do. Thanks a lot for being open as well. What you said about not understanding your nephews' pain puts things in perspective for me. I think my mom can't understand it either and that's one of the reasons she's sad. I just don't want to be a burden.
I haven't told my mom about my transition because I don't think she'll understand. I've actually tried to explain to her different gender identities and she didn't get it. All what she said was, "If that makes you happy, then that's that". But she kept confusing gender identities with sexual orientation. That and she made a comment a couple of years ago about how she believes that people who are trans are going against God. She's gotten more religious and, with that, more open-minded (which is interesting since people become more conservative as they get more religious).. But she just doesn't understand trans issues. She's cool with me being queer, though. Idk if any of this made sense. It's difficult to explain...
