Hi, I know this probably won't help as much but I deal with the exact same thoughts as you and I can relate to you believing that it something in your subconscious but upon talking to a therapist in the past she told me that these unwanted thoughts are just that...thoughts...just like feelings they don't define the person that you are and just because a thought crosses into your head doesn't make you a sick human being according to her everyone has these thoughts they are just able to let them be just thoughts and are able to let them go within seconds while people who suffer with anxiety/OCD tend to over analyze everything and try to make sense of it all . Like I said I still deal with this myself and am currently struggling with it while being 30 weeks pregnant on top of it all so I don't have any advice to help you cope but do know it's brought me comfort I am not the only one out there with these thoughts because they're truly taboo subjects to discuss openly even with therapists , So I hope in that sense ive brought you some comfort in knowing you're not alone either , Logically I know I am not a monster and You aren't either . Give yourself credit in knowing that you do know in fact right from wrong , Keep in mind true Pedos don't view their actions as wrong and feel no remorse . Hugs to you hopefully the thoughts pass