Sometimes I can't figure out someone's gender. Like if I am out and see someone. It is peculiar that it should be so important. I envy the younger generations where this isn't such a big deal. It seems more like how the world should be. It's a good thing, so, yeah, hopefully "coming out" will someday be seen as a quaint ritual. But for now I guess...just go easy. Gentle. Patient. It will be fine, I think. Your partner will be a vanguard in the process, so hopefully everyone can follow his lead.