I'm sorry you're going through this. I think that once you are capable, it'd be a good idea to attend therapy. What my therapist told me after I came back from a lapse, "People avoid therapy when they need it most." He was right, in my case.

When my motivation is down, it's down. I only get up for what I have to do and I also have a habit where I cancel therapy because I just think, "it's not necessary and I couldn't do it if I wanted to," but that always bites me in the ***, in the end. When I finally get up to take care of something that has to happen, while I'm up, I make myself do something else; something that isn't necessary but could use some doing. I might have to lay back down afterwards but I feel ever so slightly accomplished. I keep doing this more and more, adding non-essential tasks to my activities. Eventually, I can seem like I'm no longer depressed. Whether that's true or not is a different story.