3 years ago we moved from North Carolina to New Jersey. At the time I was pregnant with my second child and my first child was 8 months I think. I get very sick when I'm pregnant and my second wasn't planed so I was pretty depressed and emotional. The day before the move we found out the gender of our second so we could either pack up all the first's baby stuff or get rid of it. I called my mom to tell her at the same time my husband called his mother. Apparently that was rude and I got guilt tripped. We chose the base we did so we would be closer to our home town, so my mom could come visit her grandkids. We could have picked anywhere. Literal paridise. But I picked New Jersey for family. I do love it here, it actually really nice. We are gonna be moving again soon and I'm so happy I'm not sick, so happy my kids are older. Just these feeling keep coming up.

My sister calling me to tell me how crappy it was for my mom not to find out first. Them both harrassing me the day before I had my son. All the stress and unfair emotions they put on me. I know now that I shouldn't have fought with them, that I should have just hung up and not let it bother me but I didn't. And it hurts. I tried to talk to my sister and build a bridge with her. She told me she didn't need this stress she was pregnant.... the way they treated me while I was pregnant with both of my children. I should really cut contact with my sister too, I haven't talked to my mom in almost 2 years. She doesn't know my son she doesn't know my daughter.

I'm just feeling emotional, packing up again and knowing how bad I felt before. How much guilt stress and shame I had last time. I'm tired and I wish I could just feel better about the move.