....and had a feeling of doom straight away. I hate these days.

I feel like a waste of space to be honest, like I get on EVERYBODYS nerves all the time. Feel like I should just shut up and not say a word. Insecurity at the moment is double, like people think I'm always seeking attention, like I'm sorry for myself, I dont mean to be so horrible. This site was meant to help with issues I have from the past, I 've never told many people about things cos it always sounded like a sob story, i thought coming here I could let it out, be open about what happened and the way I feel but now just feel people are sick of hearing it. Dont get me wrong, I have had the most wonderful support ever, just so confused again right now. Some people find it easier than others to recover I suppose - well good for them, nothing but admiration, but we're not all the same.
When I write it comes across as...me me me all the time, I just want answers to stuff, I dont mean to sound so selfish and boring and self absorbed. I thought this place was meant for this, maybe I'm wrong? If we're not seen as being happy are we useless? All I can say is I'm trying my best and Rome wasn't built in a day. 30 odd years of crap is going to take a while to sort out, truth is it;s hard to know where to start, wish it was so easy as to just put it behind me and get on, but unfortunately it doesn't work like that. Sorry if this doesnt make sense, just writing exactly as I'm thinking right now....

Jinny xxxx