Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
It seems like a lot of focus in this marriage is about very mundane things. Lengthy arguments and discussions about daily menu and what to eat every day and what to watch in tv etc It seems like none of those topics are of any depth or importance.
Do you discuss anything of importance or do anything together besides eat and tv? Any hobbies? Travels? What kind of stuff you do on days off? You guys go to movies or theater or museums or parks or gym together or walks? Any exchange of ideas? Are you intimate often if ever? Is he good in bed? It seems just lacking any substance to me.
Or am I missing something? Maybe there is a lot of common interests and activities together and ton of depth but you aren't sharing on here. Whatever you are sharing sounds nightmarish.
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We really don't talk about things of importance, like finances or him going to work or goals because he doesn't want to talk about those things. He doesn't want to talk about money because he knows he's in significant debt (which he is keeping from me as he told me one credit card is paid off and the other one nearly is, when I know they both have anywhere from $5000-$7000 on them). He STILL hasn't gone into work to pick up his check and it's been a week since he was paid. Guess he'd rather be negative in the bank than go to work. He doesn't want to talk about why he isn't going to work because if I ask any questions about it he gets easily agitated and walks away. Forget about goals because he can't continue doing anything for more than a week before going back to his old ways.
As far as hobbies go I pretty much clean the house and watch tv. He sits and plays his video game ad nauseum and does nothing else even though there are a ton of projects he needs to get done. I do all the ones I can, but there are several I can't. My days off are spent, as I said above, cleaning the house and watching tv. His days off are spent playing his damn video game. He asked me last night if I wanted to watch a movie and I said sure. He asked me this at about 8PM while playing his video game. I go out to the couch to wait for him and he doesn't come out. He comes out a little before 9, but that was only to get another beer and then went back to his game. Does he even remember asking me if I wanted to watch a movie??
Travels would be GREAT, but we have no money saved up to go places because I have to pay all the bills because he doesn't go to work and even when he does, he can't help with our shared bills and only takes care of his. I even work for a travel company and others are constantly going away while I have to always tell everyone "Maybe next year we'll go" when I know we won't.
Forget about going to the theater (he wouldn't step foot in it) or a museum and god forbid a park as that is the ultimate in boredom for him. I would love to go any of those places, but he doesn't see the point.
He even complains about how he never sees his 19 year old daughter. He never asks her about her life just basically "Oh we should go to sushi" or "We should go see this new movie" or Have you played this video game?" Never about her schooling or her grades or if she's working or has a boyfriend. She is going back to school this coming quarter and I asked him if he's heard anything about it (because she didn't go this past semester). I know she's going because I saw that she had sent him his share of her tuition bill so I played dumb acting like I didn't know if she was returning or not. His response when I asked him was him shrugging his shoulders and said all irritably "I don't know. She sent me a bill for it". and that was it. He doesn't even ask her what classes she's taking!! Yet he always complains about the way her mother raised her and if she had let him be involved more his daughter would be totally different. Yeah I can tell you would have been a total hands on dad!