I'm sorry you are going through this. I see a lot of clear examples in your post where this seems to be a very one-way relationship where you are getting the short end of the stick. I would recommend having a serious talk with her and bringing up these examples to her so that she can see that she is being hypocritical. I definitely think her own insecurities, past history, and possible mental health issues all have a lot to do with why she won't commit.
These issues would absolutely interfere with your relationship if you were to be committed to each other. Ask yourself, "Although I care about her deeply, am I willing to wait around for her?" She may never want a commitment. More importantly, ask yourself, "Do I really want to be with someone who is so possessive and wants a one-way relationship?" Treat yourself as worthy of more. It would be a very unhealthy relationship, and it sounds like this is already taking a toll on you.
There many people seeking a relationship where you can have a healthy one that goes both ways. You two are not on the same page here. After a talk, if she is willing to make changes, then it's your decision whether you want to stick around, but there's some red flags here. It sounds like she needs to get some help before she can be in an healthy relationship, and that's for her to work on and not your responsibility.
I wish you luck with this.
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