Try try again....my internet connection keeps loosing my posts when I submit them....this is the 3rd try

I was grumbling about the dent in my new truck door left by a shopping cart in the walmart parking lot & met a person who was rebuilding a farm house south of town where I am working on my farm north of town. We mentioned where we lived & he invited me to see the house he was working on but I declined with my dog & ice cream in the truck.

I drove home & was working or smoothing out the gravel driveway that had been dumped earlier that week. There he drove up the street just dropping by. I took him on a tour of the house & told him about the windows & doors that I really didn't need & if he has use for them in the house he was working on....to please take them. He said he would do it in exchange for helping do some work around here that I needed done. That sounded reasonable & we exchanged phone #'s. In talking, I had made it known that I was married even though my husband was in California. Just said that he was having to figure himself out before I would ever let the ruts from California join me here in Kentucky, but who knows, miricals can happen & I was definitely not interested in any kind of relationship other than a friendship!!!!!!!!

Got a call later that evening suggesting that he should light my pilot light to the furnace because the weather was getting cold. I nicely told him I was planing on doing in soon & I could handle it myself quite well but thanked him anyway.

The phone calls to say "HI" started coming every night. He came over the next weekend with his trailer to haul the windows & doors to the barn on the farm & I thought since I hadn't eaten dinner that I would take him our to dinner to thank him for helping clear out my mess. The next day, I got a call inviting me to dinner....he was grilling on his deck. I declined, not wanting to make anything into an everyday thing....the everyday phone calls were enough.

The next week, the everyday calls to say "HI" continued & then he invited me to a family wedding so I could get out of the house & meet some people. I thought that might be a safe environment to be in, so I accepted. That was ok....& the next day, he invited me to dinner again. I was in the middle of a project, but wouldn't have accepted for the same reason again. I had my phone charging in the upstairs & was in the basement cleaning it up. It turned into an all nighter & ended up getting a voice mail, just saying Hi. I was so exhausted after the all nighter that I crashed & slept until late the next morning after putting my phone on silent so I wouldn't be disturbed. I got a voicemail the next morning concened that I was ok & that I hadn't answered my phone & he was going to drive out to my house & check if I was ok. I called & assured him I was just fine. I was busy & didn't have time to talk & then was exhausted & was sleeping.

The everyday calls to say "Hi" continued. I got a call from the pastor of the new church I'm going to & he wanted to come & visit. I had a room full of boxes & a few chairs around the house that needed moved so we had room to sit & chat. The boxes were full of Christmas decorations, so I took some out & started decorating. I got the room presentable with 2 chairs for sitting in but it took all night to accomplish. I had a voicemail "just to say Hi" but was too exhausted to make any call. I crashed again until the next morning & again, I had a concerned voicemail, telling me that I hadn't answered my phone & he was going to come & check on me because he was worried.

I was starting to feel like I was being manulipated into having to talk to him every night or I would worry him. I don't mind being friends, but when I am made to feel like I have to talk to someone everyday, it bothers me. I was just fine for 2 1/2 months before I met him & am just fine at taking care of myself. I don't need a caretakes or someone to worry about me. If a person wants to be a friend. I told him I appreciated his concern, but I was just fine. I said I have projects I'm working on & have to be free to work without having to feel that I have to talk to anyone. I told him I need my alone time & that I can't be tied to having to do something. I tried to be nice about it....so we will see if it works this time.

Friendships don't smother the other person or make them feel that they HAVE to so something or else. This just wasn't the way a friendship relation....I know that people are very nice, but I need my space & when I feel that my space is being forced away from me & put the breaks on any reliationship that interfears with my needs.

It is sad when things like this happen beause people are very nice, but when I feel smothered, I definitely have to get back into control of the situation.

Debbie