Hello captaintaco: I'm sorry you & your spouse are in this most difficult situation. This must be most difficult for you. I'm not knowledgeable with regard to eating disorders. But, from what you describe, it certainly does sound as though your wife may be bulimic... & probably struggling with some serious depression as well. I would presume a person who is bulimic probably will typically be struggling with depression as well.

Honestly, I don't know how you approach your wife with this other than just to lay it out there. She may just get angry & deny it all, & the whole thing will just devolve into an argument. But I don't know what other alternatives there are. I suppose, since the two of you are experiencing marriage difficulties anyway, you could suggest going for some marriage counseling in an effort to improve your marital relationship. And maybe in the course of that effort, your wife's struggles with bulimia & depression might come to light & receive some treatment. Perhaps that might be a less threatening way to approach it. It might seem less threatening if you say "we're" having problems & perhaps this could help, rather than to say "you're having problems & you need help." At least that's what occurs to me. I do wish you both well...