Hi

I feel I may be in a similar place to you. I too think that I have come out of or am coming out of a lengthy depressive episode & whilst I have had counselling medication wasn't part of the picture.

My experience is similar to your own. I feel I am functionin better. I no longer feel I can't cope at work/home, I am less likely to break down in tears, I don't have the intrusive self harm/suicidal thoughts. But...I know my emotions have not returned to normal. I don't have the right feelings in situations or for people I should have feelings for. Sometimes I kind of feel something but I describe it as a bit like when you're trying to think of a word & it's on the tip of your tongue, but you can't quite get it? My feelings work like that sometimes like I can feel it stirring but it doesn't reach where it needs to for me to experience it properly.

I still get random panic attacks & I sometimes something will trigger me to cry but it's not the same level of hopelessness & despair.

I still find it hard to do things that should be easy but I can't quite face them & I still sometimes have to make myself make contact with others or take phonecards from family.

I'm not sure I've captured it all really. But in short I feel I think similar to you. Things are better. Manageable. But I'm aware they're not entirely right & some days I feel a slip backwards but have come back again.

I hope this helps a little?