Hey

I'm sorry you're having a tough time & that those you're turning to are not hearing your request for help.

I also do not (as far as I am aware) appear unwell when a depressive episode strikes. I am still able to work. I still manage to feed & clothe & look after my children. But if someone could see inside my head the smiling, seemingly cheerful person on the outside has a battle raging on the inside where the hopelessness, despair, suicidal thoughts, desire to self harm & numbness to the world plays out.

I am thankful that I am currently feeling far more on an even keel. But I do know how it feels to be in the situation you describe & my heart goes out to you & all those who battle depression in all of it's forms. I pray you keep fighting it & keep seeking help. It can be managed. It can be overcome but not everyone is equipped to assist you & finding one or more people who can is important.

I have sought & found solace here on PC on many, many occasions.