I will be sober for 25 years on January 1st. And I've gotten through it literally one day at a time, or one crisis at a time. I still have occasional cravings for alcohol. especially when I'm around people who are drinking. But I know I can never drink again or all will be lost. Everything good in my life came from being sober...my career, my close relationships with my grown kids, my faith, my growth as a human being.

Trust me, it's worth the hard work of becoming and staying sober. Besides, your bipolar and your other problems are still there---drinking doesn't make them disappear---and then there's the guilt on top of it. Don't do it anymore. Try Alcoholics Anonymous, or another program that doesn't have a religious component if you are uncomfortable with that. Good luck to you.