Hello everyone, thank you for your messages. Seeing the response has been helpful for me, truly.

I feel like what bothered me so much about what happened, was the fact that I honestly thought when I turned on my phone I would see that there were people who cared about me. I always previously questioned how much they did in my own mind, but I thought after six weeks there just had to be at least one message from the people I thought, and who claim to care about me. The fact it is the holiday’s made it especially tough, on Christmas you’re supposed to be around the people you love and who love you, and I just felt, and still feel so alone.

For all of my life I’ve never been someone with a lot of friends, I tend to forge strong relationships with a couple of people and then, I suppose life happens, school ends, they go to University stuff like that, you drift apart, I get that. In the past six months a friend who I had a really good relationship with got a girlfriend, and since then we’ve drifted apart more and more, despite my best efforts. What makes this worse is previously every time he needed me I would drop everything and be there. This general pattern is the same for all of the relationships I’ve ever really had. When I text these people now, since my phone is on I really feel those relationships are done, and I know that’s just me projecting my emotions into the situation, but when you text someone before for example, and they don’t respond, after nearly two months, how is that right for me to continue with these relationships going forwards? How can I allow myself to develop new friendships knowing they all seem to end like this?

I see some of you talking about if they saw my phone was off perhaps they are respecting my boundaries. But the truth is I don’t think any knew it was off; on whatsapp it says when someone was last online, but any message sent is just delivered as soon as they have a connection. So I got everything sent during that time. Some people I have talked to even told me they didn’t know my phone was off.

Of course part of me still wants relationships in my life, someone I can laugh with, talk about, just life. I’ve just always struggled with making friends, and now with this has just completely knocked my confidence. I don’t mean to ramble; I suppose I just have to get it off my chest.

Thank you all again.