Here's a quick summary of my situation for anyone not familiar:

I was seeing a T for 2 years who I really liked and who was a great T in many ways but who was also a blank slate T and wouldn't tell me anything about herself. I really wanted to know more about her and did a TON of Google and Facebook research on her, but later felt guilty and told her what I had done. She was pretty mad (she used the word, "Miffed" lol") we had a rupture and tried to repair it for the past year or so.

Our 2 year anniversary comes and I think that she should now be more forthcoming with info but she still isn't. I get really frustrated and tell her that it's not working with us and give her a list of 5 things that I'd like for her to do differently and she won't budge on any of them. There were a lot of red flags in my last romantic relationship and here were more red flags in the therapeutic relationship so I decide to find a new T who turns out to be a 30 minute car ride away. This past Tues I told my current T about new T and we have a really nice session and nice goodbye. Ever since then I have been feeling really sad, depressed and miserable.

So here's the update; This morning my ex-T CALLS ME to say that she told my p-doc that I wasn't going to be seeing her anymore and p-doc reminds her that I can't get meds at this particular center unless I'm getting therapy there as well. The problem is that I really like my p-doc and had absolutely no intention of leaving her! My T was very apologetic about not having realized and said that new T probably has a colleague that she refers folks to who need meds.

Now my dilemma is to find a new p-doc which I don't want to do as I really like my current one and this center is a 3 min walk from my place OR ask my Therapist or p-doc for referrals to another therapist in this practice so that I can continue seeing my p-doc. My T had said that she could give me a few names but would not choose one for me.

To be honest, I think that a part of me was hoping to remain with this p-doc partially because I thought that I might occasionally see my T in passing. But, my T is really not one who walks around the office much and I have NEVER seen her outside of her office or even standing for that matter so it's not that likely that I would bump into her in reality.

Another reason why I don't want to leave this center is because it's a non-profit in my city that I lobby for funds to be donated to from a Civic organization that I belong to. I know 5 people on the board and have participated in several fund raisers for this Mental Health Center.

The other thing that I'm debating is just saying good bye to this p-doc and finding a new one either through my Primary Care Doctor or the new T. I really don't want to have to do this!

I'm just missing T so much and am so disappointed and hurt that she wouldn't change even one thing to make me happy. It's all that I can think of and I've completely wasted yet another day thinking about/dwelling on all of this. I'm really having a lot of trouble moving on and now I feel like I'm leaning towards trying to keep current p-doc and getting a new T in the same practice. I can't seem to figure out what my real motives are for wanting to stay.

Any thoughts or suggestions are welcome.