This is a really good question and I think it shows that the issue isn't just curiosity or wanting the information. It's about the relationship with the therapist, so the therapist has to know about the searching and stuff and react to it, otherwise it's not satisfying. At least that's my impression.

The reason I felt I needed to tell my T when I ended up sat outside her house one night was because I felt that for me, I had gone a step further than I had wanted to. I had told myself that I would do my best not to do this with this person. I had told my T that I would do my best. I did do my best but I still ended up there and I wanted to tell her because it didn't feel right to keep this information to myself. That and the fact that by telling her she could more easily see how bad things were for me that night.

The googling though, I have not divulged and at present I have no plans to.

You have to do what feels right for you.

For me, it's wanting someone to know I've done something potentially bad, but accepting me anyway. My parents were hard on me when I made mistakes, so I saw them as this thing that forever changed who I was, that tarnished my image forever in that person's eyes. So I think with this, I do something like the Googling, and then I need to know if I still accepted and forgiven. And to feel that it won't change how I'm viewed. MC has said in the past that it's "testing," which kids/teens do to their parents. Like for a toddler, "Will you still love me if I throw my food across the room?" For a teen, it's more like, "If I tell you I hate you, will you still accept and love me?" Hope that makes sense.