I do feel that needing to lie to avoid an explosive argument is a piece of the puzzle, a red flag if you will, as far as considering if in an abusive relationship.

Exploring in therapy why there's a pattern of choices in partners isn't a bad idea. Just because you haven't found a healthy chemistry yet doesn't mean you are destined to repeat and repeat with toxic relationships.

It's good to read that you were able to reach out to someone while going through this.