She's in her mid-30's.

My car broke down and I asked her if she could take me on a quick grocery run. She said, sure. She acted fine.

When we were in the store she started at me rapid fire: "So what's the plan with the car? Why haven't you asked uncle for money to fix it? I can't be taking you around for your errands- you need to ask me *last.* I have been taking care of you since I was 15 y/o, (not true!) the only difference is now I can drive. I'll be glad one day to put you in a nursing home..." I told her she needs to quit yelling at me. She said she wasn't yelling, she was trying to pound some reason into me... There's more, but that's the gist. It was an unexpected and heated argument. I couldn't believe it.

I told her if I asked her to do something for me, all she has to do is say, "No, mom, I can't do that right now." She replied, "No, that way I'll feel guilty thinking I should have done it!"

T says my plans about my car are really none of her business.

I think what set DD off is she counts on me (and my car) as backup because my grandson is autistic and ADHD. DD is afraid he will miss the bus or have an emergency...and she will have to leave work to tend to it. My car being out of commission is inconvenient for her. She worries about it. She has a tendency to want to micromanage both my grandson and me. Well, she's not going to micromanage me!

She's divorced, her ex is several states away. Locally, it's just DD, grandson and me.

Funny thing, when she wants something, she has no problem asking me.
Arrrgh.
I'm better off if we don't talk to each other.

Sorry, probably more information than you all needed..