Art, it's like that day you had a bad therapy session and wouldn't talk, then regretted it afterward, thinking your therapist would terminate. Could you be trying to pick a fight with her in order to force an ending? I ask that, not thinking it's the case because you like her so much and get a lot out of therapy. But I think if you don't want that Jan appt, you can just tell her you changed your mind, that you need to follow your own inner rhythm. She ought to respect and encourage that.

eta: nevermind. I read your latest dear t post. I get it.