(((((kmarie)))))

Tell him the reason you want him to go to counseling with you is so that there will be no spin - so that he can adequately represent himself.

(actually he knows he'll dig his own grave)

sweetie, this is a battle for your sanity and for your children's future. In my situation it was truly psychological warfare. we have been divorced for 2.5 years now (no kids by him) and he still fancies that he has some control over me. still calls wanting to meet or buy me lunch or to dangle some carrot on a stick in my face.

If there is any hope to save your marriage, you will find it in counseling. If there's any hope of escaping this insanity, you will find it in counseling. We did 6mo of marriage counseling and at the end of that time the T. advised me to RUN. FAST. that my life was in danger. It helped that I kept my family and friends (and 2 of his family and 1 friend) in the loop - they all knew he threatened my life and had the firepower to back it up. Made me feel a tiny bit safer knowing that if he pulled anything there would be credible witnesses.

Godspeed,
VoN