Let me also add, that I have been reading many of the other posts. I have been thinking a lot about my situation, and I seriously am debating one thing:

Am I mourning the loss of my boyfriend, or the loss of my plan for life?

First, let me just say I will willingly admit to being a control freak. I like plans - they make me happy and less stressed! And finally I had a plan for the rest of my life...to spend it with someone I got along with, was comfortable with, and could laugh with - basically I could spend my life with my best friend.
Living together was fantastic because it was constant company! I had someone to wake up to, go to sleep with, eat with, etc. I was never lonely! Until he started to get really busy. Then I got super lonely and depressed. So the more I think about it, perhaps it was the company he provided and the fantasy of having a plan for life that I miss more than him. I do love him, but perhaps just as a friend? He provided me with so much comfort, as I did for him.

There wasn't much romance, which I would have liked. The sex was good, but my sex drive with him decreased over time...it just seems that all qualities of a romantic relationship were lacking for us. Does that make sense?

Do you think it's possible for me to have been in love with comfort, company, and a plan for life instead of the man himself?