Quote:
Originally Posted by atisketatasket
Art - you know, sometimes, transference or not, the problem is actually something the therapist did. She ignored your desire for a break in January. Last time you got angry with her, she'd called you "possessed." These are reasons for anyone to be upset with anyone else. Sure, maybe there's overtones of your mother. But that doesn't excuse a therapist's mistakes, or your right to have anger at her.
I'm not trying to stir anything up; I could be wrong, but it just seems like every time she does something that others also find obnoxious - like when she told you you need to make more money - transference ends up absolving her of responsibility. And that's not helping you. Being able to distinguish between reacting to people because of transference and reacting to people because they've actually done something to cause an emotional reaction seems like a really good life skill to me.
Sorry if I'm overstepping - your last Dear T post just seems to be taking the blame all on you, and that's neither accurate nor fair.
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You're good. Not overstepping. Thanks for pointing that out. And actually that's what she told me I was doing when we talked about that "possession" session. That I was taking too much of it on myself and I shouldn't have. Anger is still such a scary thing for me to feel - it's easier for me to blame myself than to allow the anger to be at another person especially t and I suppose this really still does go back to my mother, because if I got mad at her when I was younger she would literally turn her back and refuse to speak to me for days, and I remember sitting in my room crying not understanding why my mommy hated me. So today, t very much being in that 'role', I do the same damn thing, take all the blame on myself and absolve her so she won't turn her back on me like my mother did. I feel like I am sitting here naked now after revealing all of that, I'm just going to go put a 2nd layer of clothes on now. Nothing to see here, moving along.....