chloepie, your insight is awesome! yes, i do think you're mourning both...the man and the future plans. major jolts to life and plans.

you are so understanding of him and his needs. so, saying that, yes i truly believe that you do love him...romantically so though? no one knows that but you. we do get comfortable with life and what our s/o's role in that life is. focus is on life and dealing with it, s/o's become secondary. that's natural i think over time. i'm not saying that's the way it should be, but that is usually what happens in a long-standing relationship.

my husband and i have been married almost 18 yrs. romance? there's not much. excitement? nah. thrill? what's that? however, there IS love, security, sameness, dependability, strength...the list could go on and on. so, i think the evolving that a mature relationship goes through can be a good thing.

in my rambling, i'm trying to say that i don't think you let your relationship go by becoming settled in it. it seems to me that it was a natural evolving. there are two people that make a relationship, so it's never one person's "fault" when it deteriorates. i wouldn't beat myself up, chloe. you are one caring and considerate person and he was extremely lucky and blessed to have you...he still is...in your understanding.

i pray you quick healing and success.

be safe,

kimmydawn