((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((irishi)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Please try and follow the voice you are hearing. The one telling you to have trained medical people handling your care. I am sorry you are feeling so much emotional pain that you feel there is no other way to cope with what is on your plate right now. Distraction can be a wonderful way to cope. Just a little at a time. Please try and be safe.

BB